A controlled reaction

photo by William Farlow on Unsplash

I was chatting to my ‘wiser than wise’ husband, Peter, the other night about reactionary behaviour, the good and the bad and we deducted how ‘sweating the small stuff’ is 100% for LOSERS! I count myself as a loser in that respect I must add but I’m determined to stop! stop I tell you!

You see, I’m a stickler for injustice, I find it hard to sit back and accept when people treat others or indeed myself badly. I believe in the power of micro politics and am an advocate of standing up for yourself and your beliefs.

I am also 35 and have no interest or time for pettiness/one-upman/womanship and pride myself on getting on with most people.

I’m kind, empathise with others and appreciate differences, forgive (my dad says too much) but I’m not a pushover either.

I equally accept not everyone is for me as I am not for them and I’m LL cool J with that.

…The last few months have seen some truly hard times hit my family and friends- adversity that sharply put things into perspective while offering deeper clarity on what matters ( it’s awful that tough times tend to have this impact) and while life is improving for all, many lessons have been learnt and above all one that has stuck: how we react in life is crucial to happiness and wellbeing.

My great friend Michelle of the uplifting blog The joy Chaser writes passionately about her own journey to joy- her proactive approach to flipping the negative into a positive whatever life throws at her and the transformative impact it has had on her and those around her.

You see we DO have a choice when it comes to how we react. The power is within us all.

Bad shizzle inevitably happens in life, that’s life and we can react badly/angrily as it arises or we can work/ practice on choosing our reaction, opting to be rational, calm and accepting.

I’m not saying we should deny how we feel and not cry things out for example or be honest when someone has hurt us- bottled emotions are destructive but I personally feel it’s important we choose our battles carefully and become more savvy at working out what truly warrants getting upset about.

And yes it’s hard-don’t ask me to practice what I preach during PMT week where I literally need to move to my own island *calls Richard Branson* but the rest of the time, I want to work at being calmer, however acute or trivial the scenario.

When my kid draws on my freshly painted lounge walls? Je suis calme, ‘Let’s just use that extra paint for emergencies and repaint that Minion looking thing away’.

When that person who doesn’t know me from Adam, makes a disparaging comment on my blog? Deep breath, accept they literally don’t know me from Adam and move on.

It’s about accepting what you cannot change and trying to find a positive, a silver lining where possible.

Because you know what, s**** hits the fan regularly, it always will, the dark will always accompany the light but I refuse to let it stop, hinder or make me unhappy.

You with me?

 

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